On Friday, President Donald Trump posted the following statement about pop star Taylor Swift on Truth Social: “Has anyone noticed that, since I said “I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT,” she’s no longer “HOT?””
Yes, you read that correctly. Instead of spending his time focusing on international relations, the health of the country or, I don’t know, grocery prices, Trump posted about the “lack-of-hotness” of a pop star.
(For the record, Swift is decidedly still hot and decidedly still one of the biggest celebrities in the world.)
His post is problematic in countless ways, but it’s also really, really immature. In fact, therapists who see children and teenagers told HuffPost it’s a statement they’d expect from one of their young clients, not a nearly 79-year-old man — but even from an actual child, it would be surprising.
“The tone and content of the post resemble childlike behavior — impulsive, unprovoked and lacking basic decorum; yet, even that comparison may be unfair to children,” Samantha Rhoads, a marriage and family therapist at The Therapy Group in Pennsylvania, told HuffPost via email.
The White House didn’t immediately respond when HuffPost asked if they agreed with the therapists’ analysis. And three therapists agreed Trump’s post was really immature. Here’s why:
First, it’s sexist and reminiscent of the outdated ‘boys will be boys’ mantra, the therapists said.
For any young girl, it’s unfortunately common to be made fun of by the boys in your class. This used to be considered playful banter, but it’s now seen for what it is — toxic.
“[Trump’s post] evokes the problematic ‘boys will be boys’ narrative, historically used to excuse inappropriate conduct at the expense of girls’ dignity and boundaries,” Rhoads said.
“I think this is also very much rooted in sexism, patriarchy. It’s rooted in objectifying women, young women,” said Manahil Riaz, a psychotherapist in Texas and the owner of Riaz Counseling.
“He’s mocking her. He’s belittling her. He’s not talking about the way she sings — it could be different or better or what I prefer — he’s straight-up just picking something superficial. Just because I say you’re no longer attractive or popular, that means that’s the truth, and that’s not true,” Riaz added.
“It reinforces the message that women’s value lies in being ‘hot,’ and that men get to decide when that status is revoked. That’s toxic, not funny,” added Haley Sheehan, a marriage and family therapist at The Therapy Group in Pennsylvania, told HuffPost via email.
It’s emotionally impulsive, which is often seen in kids — but not even on this level, they said.
“Let me put that out there that I don’t think he thought about it a few times before he clicked post,” Riaz said. Instead of reflecting on his feelings, which is expected for an adult, Trump impulsively posted instead, she said.
“The president of the United States also should be held accountable to check in with himself before he posts something, because he’s the president. He’s in power, people will listen to him. So it would be good if he could think about what he’s saying. And I don’t think that that’s what was happening,” Riaz said.
Being impulsive is also a sign of immaturity and is often seen in kids.
“As a therapist who works with children, I hear a lot of emotionally impulsive things from kids still learning how to express themselves — but even they know better than to say something like, ’She’s not hot anymore because I said so,’” Sheehan said.
“Trump’s comment about Taylor Swift reflects a striking lack of emotional maturity,” Sheehan added.
“It sounds more like something you’d hear on a schoolyard than from a public, world leader. It’s giving ’well, I didn’t want to be invited to your birthday party anyway!’” she continued.
In childhood, this is known as “protective puffing.”
There is a name in therapy for this kind of classic defense mechanism used by children.
“In therapy, we call this protective puffing — when someone feels insecure, rejected or powerless, they try to regain control by insulting or devaluing the other person,” Sheehan said.
“Kids do it when they feel left out. Adults are supposed to outgrow it,” she added.
“Instead of processing the emotion, Trump lashes out in the most juvenile way possible: by reducing a successful, powerful woman to her appearance, and then declaring she’s only attractive if he approves,” Sheehan noted.
Children and teenagers have a very egocentric viewpoint, which is developmentally appropriate. For Trump, it’s not, they said.
It’s normal to be self-centered and to think everyone agrees with you when you’re a kid, but we’re supposed to outgrow that in adulthood.
“I honestly believe he thought that, Oh, when I put this out there, I’m going to get nothing but, ’Yeah, I think this, too.′ And that is very egocentric thinking … which is very healthy and normal when we’re developing, but when we are older, it’s something that gets in the way of relationships,” Riaz said.
“From the ages of around 2 to 7, kids have trouble seeing perspectives of others. So, if you play peek-a-boo, that child believes that they disappeared because their eyes are closed,” Riaz said.
“And so the next step is teenagehood, there’s a social aspect to it — whatever I think, everybody thinks, whenever I walk into the room, that’s when everybody’s reality begins,” she explained.
In your teenage years, you feel like you have an imaginary audience where everyone is watching and judging you, Riaz added.
“Whatever thought I have, I might want to say it out loud, because I have it in my mind, and everyone’s in my mind,” she added.
It exemplifies teenage, groupthink behavior, they said.
“There’s a lot of groupthinking in this rhetoric … so, there’s one person in charge, and we just kind of follow suit,” Riaz said.
“Meaning, if he’s saying it, it must be true, right? That’s what happens in high schools — one person declares it, and everyone follows, and then if you try to say, ‘No, no, this isn’t right. We shouldn’t bully this kiddo,’ then you also fear being ostracized,” Riaz said.
In this groupthink example, Trump believes that because he thinks a certain way, it means everyone else does, too, she added. “Teenagers think like that … this idea of, ‘Well, because I don’t like them, maybe everybody else doesn’t, too.’ And that’s not true. We’re allowed to form our own opinions,” Riaz said.
And, since Trump is at the top of the hierarchy, people don’t question him on why he’s talking about Swift when there are huge problems happening in the world, she noted, because the questioner may get kicked out of the group.
“So, the only people that survive in these types of circles are also groupthinkers,” Riaz noted.
Like a child, he’s acting up when he wants attention, they said.
“Though ethically troubling, Trump frequently relies on ‘rage bait,’ [which are] provocative behaviors designed to incite and monopolize attention,” Rhoads said.
“As a therapist, I often encounter children described as ‘disruptive’ when, in truth, they’re seeking connection and attention — even through negative means,” she added.
“The key difference … is that Trump, unlike a child, is a fully developed adult, well aware of the social norms he deliberately violates,” Rhoads added.
Point blank — it’s bullying, and it’s toxic, they said.
“This is a form of public, verbal bullying,” Sheehan said. “When someone with a huge platform tries to tear someone down by mocking their looks or worth in a way designed to humiliate or devalue them, that’s bullying. It’s not a political jab, it’s not satire — it’s a sexist, personal attack.”
“This kind of commentary clearly borders on bullying, as it seeks to demean and diminish another person,” Rhoads said.
“To gauge its impact, consider this: If your child returned home and shared that a peer had called them less attractive, you would view it as cruel and unacceptable. The same standard should apply here,” Rhoads continued.
“When public figures model this kind of behavior, it normalizes emotional immaturity and public bullying — especially toward women,” Sheehan added.
In kids, bullying is known to have negative mental health outcomes such as anxiety, depression and a loss of interest in their regular activities. While Swift is likely to be able to brush this attack off, Trump’s behavior still excuses bullying, Riaz noted.
“This would never work at a restaurant or at a school setting, but somehow it is working on a national level, and it’s normalizing bullying,” Riaz added.
Plus, bullying says more about the bully than the victim.
“Let’s be clear: Taylor Swift isn’t any less powerful, beautiful or relevant because a president said something petty. If anything, it says more about his fragility than her status. Let’s hold adults to adult standards — especially when they’re speaking to the world,” Sheehan said.